


안녕 (GOODBYE)

by ofreverentia



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Song fic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-07 00:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20515754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: Yuzuru watched as Javier stepped down from the podium and he tried not to scream the words out, he already let some of it slip out before. He let the world capture it and share it for all eternity, making it impossible to erase. It was a careless mistake, which he will regret and dread for a long time as he will come face-to-face with it on every Japanese newspaper or online article.





	안녕 (GOODBYE)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Here with the pain again... this time around it is 2NE1 - Goodbye. I am sorry in advance. Someone teach me how to write anything that is not angst or broken hearts.. *sighs* - Mentions of the Olympics, Fantasy on Ice 2018, Heroes & Future 2018 and returning to Toronto. Originally posted on the 25-06-2018.

_ Don’t go _

_ Don’t say you'll leave me here _

_ Don’t leave me in this memory _

_ Don’t look at my eyes that cannot hold onto you _

_ Just don’t go _

Yuzuru watched as Javier stepped down from the podium and he tried not to scream the words out, he already let some of it slip out before. He let the world capture it and share it for all eternity, making it impossible to erase. It was a careless mistake, which he will regret and dread for a long time as he will come face-to-face with it on every Japanese newspaper or online article. One photographer even capturing his broken expression on a picture. They managed to grab the exact moment where his heart shattered in millions of pieces. Did Javier look at it? Did he see it at all? When it happened, he had effectively hidden his expression from him, lowering his head but that camera just had to be there didn’t it?

_ Don’t be fooled _

_ Don’t give into the temptation _

_ Not everything lasts forever _

_ When the winter passes, spring follows, you know that _

_ Just don’t go _

Fantasy on Ice felt like TCC all over again, fooling around on the ice. It maybe was something better as they couldn’t really enjoy skating together at the rink for a long time, both preparing for one competition after another. Now though when Yuzuru would return to Toronto he would have new rink-mates. Javier would be gone most of the time, only coming in case he needs to prepare for Europeans. Yuzuru thought about Japan Open as the older announced his participation there recently. 

Why did he decide to go there? 

Yuzuru wondered if it was a choice influenced by him. The Spanish male could have done any other competition or challenger but decided on Japan Open. Yuzuru had to fight all the questions he had at this point.. The past months with Javier by his side felt like a dream. A temptation he never succumbed to, hope to maybe not being left alone in the cold climate of Toronto once summer was over.

_ When today passes _

_ It feels like tomorrow will be different _

_ Will I be able to go on without you? _

Taking his last lap around the rink in Nagano, he got greeted with the view of Javier standing with a small girl in his arms, cradled so carefully but at the same time holding her firmly in fear of dropping her. He couldn’t help his body moving on it’s own, even forgetting the cameras around along with the thousands of people at the venue. His smile grew into a grin making his cheeks almost hurt. The lyrics to the song he has been mouthing forgotten the moment his fingers brushed through brown locks, patting the head of the older. The warm palm moving to his side to lightly tickle him felt like a burn. Something he would feel lingering for hours if not days.

_ Until the day we meet again _

_ Goodbye goodbye _

_ Until that day we meet again _

_ Goodbye goodbye _

_ Does anyone know _

_ Does anyone know _

_ How it makes me feel? _

_ Until the day we meet again, goodbye goodbye _

_ Goodbye, goodbye _

Javier stayed an extra day after the closing night and party in Shizuoka, with a promise to spend some time with him. They planned to go out and have a meal together. Something they haven’t done much in the past before, if at all. As there were not many responsibilities left to deal with, Yuzuru wished to just spend a bit more time with Javier one last time. There was lightness to their steps, no hurry as they maneuvered through the streets of Shizuoka, avoiding crowds in case fans stuck around for a day as well. They took their time searching for a place where they could enjoy some privacy. A perfect evening pressed together in a small restaurant; thighs and shoulders brushing with each movement as they spoke in hushed voices but smiling each time, they looked at each other. Right up until they had to separate to return to their respective hotel rooms, it didn’t feel like the last day of seeing each other for a while. Yuzuru would be returning to Toronto in a week or so and Javier to Madrid the following day. The hug they shared lasted minutes, so many things unspoken between them, wrapped in the warmth of their bodies. Yuzuru was the first to break away, looking into the dark eyes of Javier. He touched the others cheek lightly, feeling his stubble under his fingertips. “Goodbye.“ He whispered before slipping finally into his room.

_ Don’t trust _

_ Don’t trust the broken stories _

_ Don’t lose faith _

_ The promises we made together come to mind _

_ Tears are falling down _

It may have been six years he first made this trip but knowing that a particular person won’t be joining him on the ice for possibly a month or more, it left him with the same feeling - unknown place he will need to get accustomed to. English may not be that difficult as it used to be but how do you learn to navigate a rink you always shared with someone who wouldn’t be there anymore from all over again? Unconsciously adjusting skating patterns to give room and vice versa? It was a Sunday when he returned and while not being scheduled for training he made his way to the Cricket Club. As someone with a bit more privileges as a two times Olympics gold medalist he was let to skate without a coach around as long he didn’t attempt any crazy jumps. Reassuring Brian and Tracy for not aiming for that he took the ice after his initial greeting by touching the cold surface. Always grateful for being able to skate. The sound of his skates echoed in the big room, movements falling into the usual stroking pattern he learned many years ago and did with Javier countless times in the past. Now though there was only empty space by his side, no sound of a second pair of skates or that of a bright laughter. Slowly the tears started to roll down his cheeks, his eyes closing in an attempt to imagine the Spaniard skating by his side. The coldness of the rink felt biting that night, Yuzuru felt it straight in his bones.

_ Don’t forget _

_ Even if things get rough, it will be okay _

_ Come find me when you need someone to lean on _

_ Even though I cannot stay forever with you _

_ It’s okay just for awhile _

Yuzuru forced himself to adjust, to the presence of three new skaters and their way around the ice. It was somewhat easier and he found himself doing things similar of what Javier has done in the past for him. Helping the new skaters adjust to the Cricket Club. Laughter filled the empty space again and he felt genuinely happy, though on some days he missed a warm hand reaching for him after a harsh fall. It was a rainy Wednesday and his training session has been going bad from start to near finish. Legs giving in under him more often than landing a clean jump. Frustration seeped through each of his pores and after he failed a triple axel he stayed on the ice, back pressed against the cold surface, eyes shut tight. The familiar sound of skates approaching him filled his ears and when he opened his eyes he got to drink in a smile, which even put the sun itself to shame. A warm hand extended towards him so he can take it with ease. “Get up, we are not done for today.” Yuzuru took the hand of Javier, squeezing it as he got pulled back to his feet.

_ Until the day we meet again, goodbye goodbye _

_ Goodbye, goodbye _

It may be for a short time but until they have to part again he will enjoy it, then say his goodbye all over again. A new kind of pattern he will learn to maneuver around as well.


End file.
